Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sunday Funnies

After being away from church for several years, an Irishman goes into the confessional box. Stepping inside he is very amazed. There is Guinness on tap along with a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

Then he hears the door on the other side open and the priest comes in.

"Father, forgive me," he says, "for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession. But I must admit the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be!"

To which the priest replied, "That’s because you’re on my side!"

Monday, November 09, 2009

The Digitizer

I never expected internal turmoil while cleaning the garage – but it happened.

In the garage, I was throwing away many things without a second thought. Then I came across one item I debated about before throwing away. I thought, “You’ll never do anything with them.” Moments later, I pulled them out of the trash while thinking, “Maybe someday you will.”

I threw them away again while telling myself, “You have five large boxes of them downstairs.” Later, while digging them out of the trash I was thinking, “Just add them to the boxes downstairs.”

The third time I placed them in trash I was convinced they would stay there as I declared, “They really have no value.” As I dug them out the trash, I told myself, “While not tangible, sentimental value counts.”

Realizing I would never get the garage cleaned out if I kept fighting with myself, I took them downstairs and threw them on the counter. That’s where ten 35mm negative filmstrips stayed for six months.

Last week, I picked them up along with the other boxes of photos, negatives, and slides. Char bought me a digitizer - what a perfect gift! At least for someone like me.

This beauty can digitize slides and negatives, color and black and white. You can choose what resolution to save then at, rotate them, and even crop them if you’re so incline.

I started with some negatives that were at least twenty years old and treated pretty poorly. Yet, I was happy with the quality of the digitized photo. The way the negatives or slides were handled in the past is the key to the quality you get.

While it’s fun to digitize them, there are at least three drawbacks. The first is, with as many negatives and slides as I have it could take me fifty years, more if I want to write stories about them. Secondly, this type of project will keep you up past your normal bedtime. Lastly, when you do go to bed it's hard to sleep. You lay there wondering, “Where did the last twenty years go?”

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Sunday Funnies

On Sunday, a new young pastor arrived at church and found only an old farmer had shown up.

After waiting a while, the disappointed pastor remarked to the old farmer, “Well, it appears no one else is coming, so we should probably cancel service today”

The farmer, dressed in his Sunday best, looked at the young preacher and said, “Well pastor, I don’t know much ’bout preachin’, but I do know something bout farmin’ and if I went out in the field and found only one cow, I’d still feed ‘em”

This excited the young preacher who preached for the next 45 minutes a fierce fire and brimstone sermon. At the end of the service, the pastor asked the old farmer what he thought.

The old farmer remarked, “Well pastor, I don’t know much bout preachin’, but I do know somethin’ ’bout farmin’ and if I went out in the field and found only one cow, I wouldn’t give ‘em the whole bale.”

Friday, November 06, 2009

Greeting The Day

You wake up in the morning, roll out of bed, get around, grab a cup of coffee and head out the door. That’s when you have to greet the day. Some days are easier to greet than others – today was one of those days.


Monday, November 02, 2009

48 Hours

This time of year forty-eight hours can make a lot of difference. The first picture was taken Thursday morning. Over nineteen inches of snow was piled on that table. The second picture is the same table Saturday morning. Friday and Saturday the temperature was in the fifties.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Sunday Funnies

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.

His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, “That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!”

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Barbecue Postponed

I told Char I would barbecue chicken on Wednesday. That night even though she enjoyed the oven-fried chicken you could tell she was disappointed it wasn't barbecue. I thought I had some good reasons. . .

Reason One: I didn’t want to dig out the barbecue grill and wasn’t sure we had enough propane to heat it thoroughly.


Reason Two: I didn’t want to clear off the table on the deck.






There's 19 ¾ inches of snow on the table.

Reason Three: Even if I cleared off the table, I could have never gotten the chair cushions. Not only was snow piled on top of the cabinet it was frozen shut.

Yes, it snowed in Colorado. In fact, it is still snowing. It started late Tuesday night and hasn’t quit.

We won’t starve but barbecue is out of the question.