Sunday Funnies
Here are some questions about church statistics. See how many you can get right.
If a church's average morning attendance is 100, how many will attend a Sunday evening service?
(Answer: About ten)
If a church's average morning attendance is 2,500, how many will attend a Sunday evening service?
(Answer: A Sunday evening what?)
Pastor Price has been at First Church for three years. Attendance has been growing at a rate of 11.3 percent annually, volunteerism is up, the budget is balanced, and the bathrooms are painted. What percentage salary increase can Pastor Price expect?
(Answer: He will be fired for painting the bathrooms without calling a congregational meeting.)
When listening to a colleague preach, what percentage of pastors are convinced they could do a better job?
(Answer: 63%. The rest aren't listening at all.)
If a church's average morning attendance is 100, how many will attend a Sunday evening service?
(Answer: About ten)
If a church's average morning attendance is 2,500, how many will attend a Sunday evening service?
(Answer: A Sunday evening what?)
Pastor Price has been at First Church for three years. Attendance has been growing at a rate of 11.3 percent annually, volunteerism is up, the budget is balanced, and the bathrooms are painted. What percentage salary increase can Pastor Price expect?
(Answer: He will be fired for painting the bathrooms without calling a congregational meeting.)
When listening to a colleague preach, what percentage of pastors are convinced they could do a better job?
(Answer: 63%. The rest aren't listening at all.)
posted by Ralph at 10:43 PM
12 Comments:
Ralph, your supposed to be funny, not factual.
I see that error by the way, "you're".
I think it's funny. I'm forwarding it to my pastor.
I'll have to agree with Lanny, true stuff, but it is funny.
There are some things I'll never do again.
1: Be in charge of anything that requires a choice of colors for a church. (carpet and walls)
2:try to change something that is "the way we've always done it."
I'll have to pass this along to my mother. It sounds an awful lot like the things she's been telling me about her church and fellow members of the congregation. *G*
I refuse to choose the color of anything at work either. Everyone has an opinion of the color, no one wants to buy the brushes, paint or actually do the painting. But they have an opinion of the color.Sheesh.
As always, funny stuff!
This is funny but true too!
Well you hit the nail on the head here...
Ya know, I think this should be printed on the back of the Church bulletin. At least something would be read in it...
Oh, sorry, forgot, Rule #7, never snicker in church. Sorry...
Funny and true!
I have heard of churches getting mad over what coffee pot to buy!
Geesh!!
The first lesson taught in Seminary is, "This is NOT what you've imagined shepherding to be." Good one, Ralph.
Funny stuff Ralph, well... unless you're a preacher. ~ j///b
This explains why our church doesn't have Sunday evening services anymore.
Thanks Ralph, this was good stuff (gone bad). :)
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