The minister had an idea. He bought a book about hypnosis and read it from cover to cover. At the next service, he took out a watch and chain, swung it back and forth, and lulled the congregation into a hypnotic trance. Then he said, "I want everybody to walk down the aisle and put $20 in the offering plate." They did, and the church's roof was fixed that week.
The next Sunday he decided to do it again. Taking out the watch, he swung it back and forth and said, "I want everybody to come down the aisle and drop $100 in the offering plate." They did, and the air conditioning was fixed and the parking lot redone.
His third Sunday, he thought, "I haven't had a pay raise in a long time. I deserve a little more money." He started swinging his watch again, and the thought of more money got him excited. So excited that his hand started to sweat and the watch slipped from his grip as he yelled, “Crap!”
It took two weeks to air out the church.