Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sunday Funnies

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a local university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really very hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first. “Well,” he said, “I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.”

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next, he was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he claimed, “WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. Then I began to read to the bear from God's HOLY WORD! But, that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus.”

The priest and the reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a full body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. The Rabbi looked up and said, “Looking back on it...........circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”


Blogger Jim said...

Ralph, this a not funny that is really funny. I am still smiling.
Have a nice week and stay warm and dry. :-)
It warmed up nicely for our Ford picnic today. There will be pictures.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Yep, I'm smiling too!!! I think that word is NEVER good to say to a male of any sort!! Haha!

1:25 PM  
Blogger Paul Nichols said...

Har! Har! Har! That's a good one. I never saw it coming. Haw! Haw!

(Oh, my side hurts and I just got outta the hospital. Have mercy!)

11:11 PM  
Blogger Lanny said...

Thanks for starting my Monday off with an asthma attack!

9:30 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Hey Ralph, I am sorry your Rockies didn't make it past the Philly's. Your guys had a really good season. Congratulations for making it so far.
Next year (if the Astros repeat this year), huh?

8:58 AM  
Blogger Cliff said...

Good one Ralph. This is another one I've visited about 10 times and figured out I hadn't responded yet. Did you warm up after having sat behind home plate for three hours?

5:32 AM  
Blogger Granny Annie said...

Too good! My spouse knows the punch line to every joke but he didn't see this one coming. Thanks Ralph.

6:01 AM  
Blogger Mountain Mama said...

Now we know.

12:46 PM  

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