Icebreakers

I attend a lot of workshops and conferences. Usually within the first twenty minutes, I can tell if I am going to enjoy it or not. The reason is icebreakers. I hate icebreakers. The popular one right now is, ‘Write down something no one or very few people know about you’? Well, duh, there might be a reason no one knows. I mean think about it.

The thing I have been writing down lately is – Got ejected from a girls 8th grade basketball game. Yeah, it’s true but I am still not sure it was my fault. Okay, it was my fault.

My father in law, my wife, and I went to one of my daughters basketball games. My son and his girlfriend met us there. We had been to lots of basketball games but you need to understand I don’t know the rules. I don’t know basketball rules or “spectator” rules. The game was close and the referee’s were lousy. They had their favorite team and it was not my daughter’s. When it is her team, those are called good refs. Anyway, the score was going back and forth and one of the ref’s made a bad call. A really bad call – at least, that is what I concluded by the roar from the stands. I jumped to my feet and blurted out, “That’s a bunch of crap!” Now, in situations like this timing is everything. Had I done it with the rest of the crowd it would have been okay. But, I blurted out those words when things were starting to get back to normal. The stands went quiet and I was the only one left standing. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind what was said and who said it.

The ref and I glared at each other. He was mad. He made a bad call (I’m guessing here) and he knew it. Rather than just admitting it, he decided to take it out on me. He started walking towards me so I started walking towards him; remember I don’t know basketball etiquette either. Suddenly he just blurted out, “Do you want to watch the rest of the game?”

About this time, my basic basketball survival instincts must have kicked in. Without thinking, I ripped my glasses off, extended the hand holding them offering them to him and replied, “Do you?” You could have heard a pin drop.

Without any advance warning, he ejected me from the game.

From the stands came a cry, “What a minute – he’s right. That was a bad call.” I thought support was building and soon the ref would realize he was wrong. But, the only support I got was from my son. He got ejected too.

So there we were setting outside waiting for the game to get over. On one hand, I wanted it over soon because it was chilly outside. On the other hand, that game could have gone on for days because, unlike my son, I had to get into the car with my wife, my daughter, and my father in-law. They were pretty quiet all the way home – come to think of it for the next several days as well.

So, as an icebreaker I write,’ Ejected from a girls 8th grade basketball game’. They never pick me. They always pick a guy about six feet two inches with an athletic type body. But now comes the fun part. When they read those questions and want the person who wrote them to stand up – I never do. I just set there, looking around the room like everyone else, waiting for that jerk to stand up.