Monday, November 05, 2007

Sealed Frustration

Home from the store I started putting everything away - most people do that.

When I got to the bottle of aspirin, I decide to open it and put it in the medicine cabinet. I opened the sealed box and took out the bottle. Then I noticed the “Safety Seal” around the lid. I fought with that little plastic seal while staring at the message it was “put there for my protection”. Grabbing at a knife I almost cut myself. I started muttering something like, “For my protection my. . .” Finally, I cut through the plastic seal.

Now, I’m at the hard part, the child proof cap. Past experience has taught me those child proof caps can be hard to open the first time or two so I decided to get it out of the way. I struggled with that thing for a few minutes. It finally opened when I was heading out the door to find a neighbor kid. What a relief. I hate having the neighborhood kids help me with my medication.

Walking across the room to pick up the cap (how it got there is not important) I noticed the foil on the lid opening. You have to remove all of that foil. If you don’t every time you shake out an aspirin, it will hit that one little piece of foil and go flying across the room. Reaching for my trusty knife, I cut through the foil and scrapped it off the lid. We are making progress!

I hate the fact they stuff cotton in those bottles. You cannot get your finger in there to get it out. Your trusty knife won’t do the trick either – it’s too big. So, you need your reliable ballpoint pen. Of course, in the process of trying to get the cotton out you slip and stab yourself with the pen – hey, it’s better than the knife, right?

Okay, the box has been opened and thrown away, the “safety seal” has been cut off and is still clinging to the knife, on my own I was able to open the child proof lid, all the foil has been removed, and the cotton is a wadded up mess laying on the counter.

I’m ready to put the aspirin away, right after I take a couple.


Anonymous Sorso said...

After that I think I need one too !

7:01 PM  
Blogger Cliff said...

Good stuff here Ralph. I'm glad you got it open. I was about to send Casey out to open it for you. If she can't get it , it can't be gotten.

8:42 PM  
Blogger Cheyenne said...

I try to not buy the child proof meds but once in awhile I mess up and do...and that's when more than just the lid goes flying across the room.

10:28 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

This is a cute story.
A few hints and a forceast here, Ralph:
Hint # 1 -- get someone more nimble, experienced, and younger to do it (like Char);
Hint # 2 -- ask the grocery or other store clerk to open things before leaving with their product;
Hint # 3 -- pliers work very good in these instances. You'd be surprised what you can open with pliers and an old fashion church key; and
Forecast -- when you get old enough to take both blood thinner and full strenght aspirin, there will be blood all over the place when you're done.

Your "growing up" series is good, everyone should do these. And keep hard copies.
BTW, can you tell I'm back?

6:10 AM  
Blogger Mushy said...

I'm with ya! I hate that crap!

7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh the joys of modern medicine. I just got a new prescription and for some reason (I guess I was bored) read the direction sheet that the pharmacist had enclosed with it. It stated that this medication was for post-menopausal women only. A little farther down it stated that if I was pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant, I should consult my physician before taking this medication. I've let my medical license expire but I'm sure that I remember that post-menopausal women can't become pregnant. Then the instructions went on to say that this medication may cause constipation and diarrhea. At the same time? I can hardly wait for that to happen.

7:28 AM  
Blogger 1 plus twins said...

ha ha that story is so true. i hate that every time i go to get the cotton out it never fails, it rips and i only get a little out leaving the cotton even farther down in the bottle. it becomes a vicous cycle of ripped cotton till i can get it all out with bruised and cut fingers!! ha ha

7:44 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Patience is a virtue. We sure need it with these things. I know what you mean. It pays to have tweezers on hand to get the cotton out with. Needle nose pliers work well for that too. I know one older lady that I visited and she had the bottle sitting there with a hole in the side that she cut out with the butcher knife so she could get the meds out! It's a true shame actually that some older folks have to resort to this. Not that you are an older folk. No way!!!

12:40 PM  
Blogger Christa said...

ha! Love this story. :) BUT - you're lucky you don't work with Greg. Through a series of strange incidents, he actually stuck a ping-pong ball in his buddies aspirin bottle...and it was just barely small enough to get it (with some persuasion) now it will never come out.

Leave your aspirin with us - we'll take care of it...

5:55 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

VERY cute story!!
After that ordeal, you may have needed something stronger than an aspirin.
My daughter takes sinus capsules that come in a package that is nearly impenetrable. Although the packaging is different than the scenario you described, I could SO feel your pain.
You may have to resort to buying meds with those twist open lids. They are made for old people.


8:25 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home