Raising Ralph - Slow Motion

(CORRECTION MADE: “You almost got it right” no man likes to hear those words. But, Char had a different recollection of what her mother was doing. She most likely is right, plus . . . it makes a better story.)

Shortly after SOR (Son of Ralph) was born, Char and I loaded up the car and went to visit her parents. SOR was their first grand child so visits were always welcome.

SOR was asleep when we got to their house so we put him on their bed, surrounded him with pillows so he wouldn’t roll off, and covered him with his baby blanket. SOR was sleeping soundly.

The visit was good but after awhile it was time to leave. The problem was SOR had slept through the whole thing and the grandparents had not gotten to see or hold him. Being a good son-in-law, I went to wake him up. That’s when I had a moment of brilliance.

I took the blanket off SOR and wrapped it around a pillow. When I walked back into the living room Char’s mom was on the phone with her sister, that’s when I “tripped” and flung the blanket across the room.

Have you seen those movies where events are played out in slow motion? It happens in real life as well. Char’s mom dropped the receiver and it slowly headed towards the floor. She then slowly pushed herself out of the chair and a long muffled “N o o o o o o o . . .” was coming out of her mouth. In reality, I had never seen the old gal move that fast. She had quite the spring in her step. To her credit, she almost caught the “little bundle of joy” before it crashed to the floor.

Char’s mom, now nicknamed ‘Speedy’, swept the bundle off the floor, rolled back the blanket and saw the pillow. Her eyes were sending daggers my way at the exact same time I was having second thoughts about my little joke. I also discovered the extent of her vocabulary, which I’ll admit was impressive.

While I have chuckled about this for over twenty years, I don’t recall Char’s mom ever seeing the humor in it.