Saturday, July 31, 2010

Sunday Funnies

A young man and a priest are playing golf together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"

The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?" The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."

The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.

The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Blogger Blues

It might be the nice weather. Then again it could be the fact this is the first summer in a long time where I didn’t have to be inside staring at a computer screen. Perhaps it's golf. Or it could be the fact that I have nothing to blog about – wait, that’s not it. I have a lot of stories running through my head I would love to get written down.

To make matters worse, I have not even visited some of my favorite blogs for awhile. Sorry. I will try and get better.

I think I’ll blame it on the weather.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Sunday Funnies

A Grandmother was visiting her grandson one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
She started mentally polishing her halo while asking, "No, how are God and I alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

A little boy was overhead praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.I'm having a real good time like I am.”

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Sunday Funnies

A cowboy moved to Wyoming and walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

"It hasn’t affected my brothers though."

(Thanks to Rachel)

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Highway 14 Mile 289

Char and I just returned from a road trip. Like most of our trips it was full of memorable moments. The most memorable moment of this trip happened in South Dakota on highway 14 at mile marker 289. That’s where we found out we were going to be grandparents – again.

Char answered her cell phone and the conversation went something like this:

Tiffany: Mom, do you have a speaker phone?
Char: Yes.
Tiffany: Do you know how to use it?
Char: Yes.
Tiffany: Can you put us on speaker phone?

Char put the phone on speaker and Tiffany then told us she was pregnant.

A short time later Char sent them a text message which read, “Dad is driving erratically and is talking about putting the van in a ditch.” Actually, we were both pretty happy and excited for Tiffany and Jason – and us.