Saturday, October 28, 2006


Comments - last night that one word answered a question I’ve been thinking about. I’ve often wondered why I don’t have my own cooking show. I like to cook and most of my creations are edible.

Last night I made stuffed Mahi Mahi on a bed of rice along with a spectacular salad. Now before we go any further, yes I know what Mahi Mahi is. Yes, I know I ate Flipper - but at least he had the proper seasonings and spices. Anyway. . . I realized it was my comments while cooking that are keeping me off the airwaves.

I bought a box of rice that was proud of its ‘New and Improved Packaging’. While pouring it a large amount ended up on the counter and the floor. That’s when I said, “Okay, who’s freakin’ love child designed this new and improved package?”

At another point, I thought it needed just a little more lemon zest. I proclaimed, “It needs a pinch more. Now a pinch is not to be confused with a dash which has been made popular by Rachael Ray and Emeril.”

Finally, there was a lull in the cooking action and I noticed one container listed the serving size as a fourth of a cup. I couldn’t help it. I just blurted out, “Are we cooking dinner here or just making a sample platter?”

Dinner was great. But, it’s also nice to know why I haven’t been called by the Food Network.


Blogger Mountain Mama said...

Your cooking experience reminds me of mine of a few days ago when I tried to copy a recipe from Food 911. Oh my gosh!!!! I won't be doing that again right away! It looked so good when he did it, but it tasted like something from an aged trash can!
I never ate a piece of 'Flipper' before. LOL
I usually stick with Salmon or bottom fish like Cod or Snapper.I'm not very brave about trying new things.

11:52 AM  
Blogger Miki said...

Ralph, you sound a bit like me when I cook. I have the right ingredients, but it seems that I haven't the patience to speak nicely to the audience. Freakin' is a nice word when things aren't going right here in my kitchen! I guess I won't be on the food network either! Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the nice comment about my husband, it is greatly appreciated!

4:48 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Chef Ralph,
Your Mahi Mahi on a bed of rice sounds really good. I didn't know that Mahi Mahi was Flipper. See the things I learn while reading your blog?? I like it though, (Mahi Mahi and your blog).

BTW,I got your book in the mail. Neat!!

Okay, when I come to visit will you cook me some Mahi Mahi on a bed or rice??

6:45 PM  
Blogger Aravis said...

I only cook when I'm in the mood, so you would think I would be cheerful about it. Instead, I think I'm rather grim as though being forced to work out a chemistry experiment. I'm tight-lipped and focused. Your comments would be welcomed in my kitchen to lighten the mood! *G*

7:20 PM  
Blogger Cliff Morrow said...

Ralph, I've watched you cook and I've watched Rachel Ray cook. It's not your language that will keep you off of the air.
Rachel's mahi mahi's, uh, look better that yours. If you know what I mean. I will admit however that I can hear what you say when you cook, but I've never been able to 'hear' Rachel.

9:07 PM  
Blogger Cheyenne said...

I would definitely watch you on the food network. You're a riot! No kidding.

12:39 AM  
Blogger 1 plus twins said...

wow that dish sounds wonderful!! to be honest i don't know any normal person who talks all proper while cooking. they need a show with someone like you so the rest of us can relate!

8:47 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

It sounds good!
I'll bet you could even cook my fave, Roasted Planter's Peanuts mixed with Hershey Chocolate Chips.
I'll be posting my recipe and picture for that soon.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Seeker said...

It all depends.... is that 1/4 cup of rice a pre-cooked or post-cooked measurement? Big difference.

5:21 PM  

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