Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Yet Another Urban Legend

The snow and cold is taking its toll on everyone. People who use to be outside golfing, doing yard work, hiking, etc., are now forced to move their activities indoors. The weather is causing all sorts of urban legends to surface. Again, remember, urban legends are modern day folklore consisting of stories passed around by word of mouth, the printed page, and the internet. Some are true some are not.

This urban legend has it that a snowplow driver uncovered a restraining order. While weird behavior continues at many local shopping malls, it is unclear if the restraining order was ever issued or if it was accidentally covered by snow.

RESTRAINING ORDER

Mr. DoDo who resides at you know where, is hereby instructed to cease all activity at the Shop’s A Lot shopping mall and all malls within a fifteen-mile radius based on the following allegations. All incidents were documented on video surveillance.

December 19: Mr. DoDo took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

December 20: Mr. DoDo walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in house wares... and watched what happened.

December 21: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

December 22: Mr. DoDo moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

December 24: When a clerk asks if they can help him, Mr. DoDo begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

December 26: While handling guns in the hunting department, Mr. DoDo asked the clerk if he knew where to find the antidepressants.

December 28: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

January 2: Looking right into the security camera; Mr. DoDo used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

January 5: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

January 10: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!

January 19: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Is this urban legend fact or fiction – you be the judge.

7 Comments:

Blogger Cliff Morrow said...

Some of these I've done and will add the last one to my resume. Funny Ralph.

1:20 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

I got this in an e-mail but it was things you were supposed to do at Walmart I think!

The snow is really getting to you isn't it Ralph?? Bless your heart!! Spring is right around the corner!! Hang in there Ralph!!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Aravis said...

Yes, Wal-Mart. This list has always cracked me up. Should it disturb me- or Ralph- that I can easily picture him doing these things? *G*

10:47 PM  
Blogger nora said...

Ralph,
I think it's nice that you're posting your journal for all of us to read.

Today might be a good day to stay home and take a nap.

6:48 AM  
Blogger Miki said...

Poor Ralph, you are snow shocked! I hope that the Walmart hasn't really banned you, it would be a shame, what would they do for entertainment?

2:56 PM  
Blogger Raggedy said...

The snow is really making you funny!
It is not a legend. tee hee
I posted before you were reading my blog.
http://its-a-raggedy-life.blogspot.com/2006/06/thursday-thirteen-2nd.html
There are 25 on a list somewhere, I picked 13.

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

9:28 AM  
Blogger Mike ( ex scientia, veritas ) said...

Ah-h-h-h-h, Wally World, you can't beat the "people zoo" for entertainment. Have a good weekend.

4:18 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home