Sunday Funnies

It's been so hot and dry this summer that . . .
In Texas and Oklahoma the Baptists are baptizing by sprinkling.
In Kansas the Presbyterians are using wet wipes.
In Indiana the Methodists are giving out “no-rain” checks.
And all across the country Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

(Thanks to Paul)

Sunday Funnies

A young woman goes to church to confess her sins to the priest.

''Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.''

''Tell all of your sins, my daughter.''

''Oh, Father, last night my boyfriend and I made hot, passionate love three times,'' she says.

The priest thinks about this long and hard and says, ''Take three large lemons and squeeze the juice into a tall glass and drink it.''

''Will this cleanse my soul of my sins?'
'
''No,'' the priest says, ''but it'll wipe that smile off your face!''

A Thought For Sunday

A church member, who previously had been attending services regularly, stopped going. After a few weeks, the preacher decided to visit him.

It was a chilly evening. The pastor found the man at home alone, sitting before a blazing fire. Guessing the reason for his preacher's visit, the man welcomed him, led him to a comfortable chair near the fireplace....and waited.

The preacher made himself at home but said nothing. In the grave silence, he contemplated the dance of the flames around the burning logs. After some minutes, the preacher took the fire tongs, carefully picked up a brightly burning ember and placed it to one side of the hearth all alone.

The host watched all this in quiet contemplation. As the one lone ember's flame flickered and diminished, there was a momentary glow and then its fire was no more. Soon it was cold and dead.

Not a word had been spoken since the initial greeting. The preacher glanced at his watch and realized it was time to leave. He slowly stood up, picked up the cold, dead ember and placed it back in the middle of the fire. Immediately it began to glow, once more with the light and warmth of the burning coals around it.

As the preacher reached the door to leave, his host said with a tear running down his cheek, 'Thank you so much for your visit and especially for the fiery sermon. I will be back in church next Sunday.'

We live in a world today, which tries to say too much with too little. Consequently, few listen.

Walking Miss Taylor

Taylor, our youngest granddaughter, recently came to visit. She was accompanied by her mom and dad. She turned four months old while she was here. Hard to believe she is already that old.

Thanks to our neighbors (who are expecting another little one) we had anything and everything we could need for Taylor. We had a car seat, a high chair, a pack and play, a stroller, etc. All of it was a lot fancier than when our kids were young. I even had to go to the fire department to figure out how to install the car seat.

While Taylor was here we took her on her first picnic. We were taking our friend Millie to Este Park for a conference she was to attend and stopped on the way to have a picnic lunch. The wind was blowing but Taylor was a trooper and as you can tell from the picture she either wanted me to hold her or she wanted my sandwich.

We also had a pool party for Taylor in the backyard. The look on her face says it all, “Save me Grandpa! Save me!”

Taylor and I also spent I lot of time doing this. I think Tiffany and Jason appreciate the fact that Char and I were available to babysit a few times so they could go out. What a burden – babysitting such a cute little girl.

But all good things have to come to an end and Jason, Tiffany, and Taylor had to leave. Returning from the airport I quickly realized how sad a house full of baby stuff can become without a baby.