Sunday Funnies

The golf course was haunted by a malicious, evil leprechaun who exploited the ambitions of the poorer players. He popped up beside one unfortunate man who was participating in a club competition. "Look," he said, "if you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win." "Done," shouted the young golfer. The leprechaun was very pleased and chuckled merrily. When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker. "Hey," said the little elf, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?" "Father Murphy," grinned the golfer as he adjusted his Roman collar

January Golf

I know many parts of the country they are expiring extremely cold temperatures.  While I would not call it a heat wave we thought it would be warm enough to play golf yesterday.  The high was expected to be in the 70’s.  The key phrase is ‘expected to’.  It did break sixty degrees for a few minutes when we started.  By the time we got to the seventh hole it had drop down to the mid 40’s.  I really don’t play well when I am shivering.

As you can see in the picture, the tee boxes were pretty worn.  But the real challenge was the frozen ground.  That made putting a real problem as your ball would just keep rolling.  I might wait until Spring before I go out again.

Sunday Funnies

(This may not be the funniest Sunday Funny but it is probably one of the most truthful.)

Two Pastors wives were visiting while sewing their husband’s pants. One wife said, “My husband is just beside himself.  He does not know what to do anymore and is so tired and depressed he is thinking he is ready to just give up and resign.”

The other wife said, “I’m sorry to hear that because my husband has never been happier. Our membership is growing and we are out of our financial burden, we have such a large and loving congregation. Life could not be any better than it is right now.”

The first woman was mending the seat of her husband’s pants; the second was mending his knees.

Hidden Treasure

Char and I recently had some remodeling done in the kitchen.  Well, actually Char arranged for it all and I tried as to stay out of the way.  Counter tops were replaced, a new sink and facet were installed, aged appliances were replaced, and new window and door coverings installed.  It really is nice and everything works well.

As part of the process everything in the lower cabinets had to be removed.  So we (Char) pulled it all out.  What a great time to discard unused items and rearrange the rest.  We had things under there that hadn’t been used for years, at least by me.  Things were unearthed I didn’t even know we had.

Then a hidden treasure appeared - our youngest granddaughter, Taylor!  Okay, we asked her crawl in there and pose for this picture.

Sunday Funnies

An old Pastor on a hospital bed where he was dying.

He sent a message to an Internal Revenue Service agent AND his lawyer to come to the hospital. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room. As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered that the old man would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.

Finally, the lawyer asked, “Pastor, why did you ask the two of us to come here?"

The old pastor mustered all his strength, and then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I'd like to go too".

Kid Friendly

It’s no secret I like to cook.  Char told me a young lady in one of her church groups was undergoing chemotherapy and several people had already taken in meals.  While the family was truly appreciative, the two young boys were getting tired of ‘adult food’ and the lady was wondering if anyone would be willing to provide a few kid friendly meals.  When I heard that, I was on it like white on rice! I mean really, kids and I basically like the same types of food.  Yes, I will eat ‘adult’ food when I have to but kid friendly food is . . . comforting.

I spent the better part of one afternoon buying and preparing a meal of chicken nuggets, corndogs, hamburger sliders, tater tots, ice cream bars, and for dessert a Butterfinger candy bar.  If that isn’t kid friendly I don’t know what is. 

I wish they would have invited us to stay for dinner!