Mail Call

Having been traveling for a couple of days I was trying to catch up on the mail. Going through it was an adventure. You might even be able to relate to my comments in the brackets.

I won two free nights lodging at a five star hotel. (I just got home for cryin’ out loud)

I was eligible for a free flight anywhere in the domestic United States. (Yeah, you couldn’t tell me last week when I paid $900 for a ticket)

I might be a millionaire. (Call me when I am)

I’m pre-qualified for two credit cards. (Why do I need credit cards – I might be a millionaire)

I have four ‘free’ gifts waiting to be picked up. (If you could send me this letter why can’t you send my four free gifts?)

I can fly anywhere free if a friend accompanies me. (Of course my friend won’t be a friend when you stiff them for the price of my ticket.)

I am now a charter member and friend of a new local non-profit group. (Hey, you guys since we are friends do you want to fly somewhere?)

I am one of the few people selected to attend double value days. (What the heck are double value days?)

If I act right now I might be one of twenty people to get a free digital camera. (What do I have to act like?)

My instant points will expire if I don’t use them. (Darn it - I was afraid that would happen!)

But, my all time favorite was – I could choose the earrings I liked best and they would be my free gift. (If I wanted earrings, I could borrow some of Char’s – they are pretty nice.)

All this while trying to find out which bills were due.