A View From the Porch

I can count on two finger the number of places I am comfortable when I call them up and ask if they want to host my family reunion. One is at Millie's in Illinois - that is where we had Thanksgiving.

The other is in Tekamah, Nebraska. I called Cliff and Marilyn and ask if they would like to host a family reunion over Spring break. Their answer was, "Of course we would." I even tried talking them out of it a couple times - it didn't work, they were ready.

This is a view from the Morrow's porch the day I arrived. I'll write more later but Cliff just said the barbecue chicken (his world famous barbecue chicken) is coming along nicely. I better go check. More about this most excellent adventure when we return.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to everyone.

This is worth repeating. Click here. Make sure the volume is up.

Expectations

Expectations are amazing things. You go to work expecting to be compensated. You plant seeds expecting them to germinate and grow. You have expectations of yourself and others.

Recently I discovered there are now bathroom expectations. Below is a picture I took outside a rest room. The first one made me laugh, “Clean up after yourself”. Not sure what they meant by that.

And what about - “Be here. Be ready. Be quick.” You know, some things cannot be rushed.

I’m not even going to address the one that reads, “Keep feet on the floor”.

Sunday Funnies

Three clergymen were sitting in a boat, fishing.

"I'm thirsty," said the first. "I'm gonna go get myself a Coke." So he got out of the boat, walked across the water, and came back with his Coke.

"That looks good," said the second and got out of the boat. He walked across the water, got his Coke, and came back.

"You're right," said the third. "I think I'll get one too." He steps out of the boat and sinks like a rock. He swims back, gets back into the boat, looks up, and says, ''God, let me walk across the water.'' Getting out of the boat he once again sinks in the water.

"Hey," said the first clergyman to the second, "should we tell him where the rocks are?"

Out For Review

Following the over whelming success of the 2005 and 2006 books, the 2007 version of Homespun Headline is hot off the press. It was released in Illinois and is out for review.

SILOR (Son In Law of Ralph) and SOR (Son of Ralph) are captivated by this suspenseful read.


What are the reviewers saying?

“Spellbinding!!”
“Gripping!!”
“Powerful yet emotional.”
“2007 is the best of the trilogy – a must read by anyone's standards.”
“The most helpful yet entertaining book I read in a long, long time.”
“The best book I have read in awhile. I can hardly wait for the next version – and it is only March.”

Okay, I made all those up. If you want to see the trilogy, you can view them here. Enough good things cannot be said about cafepress.com who helped me through some of the trouble spots in the production of all three books. They are a great company.

And to answer the question that is racing through everyone’s mind – yes, they will be available at Blogstock 08.

Sunday Funnies

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church.

Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

The Future President

Today I met the future President. Not for the United States but of the Starbucks corporation.

I usually don’t stop at Starbucks. Since they are a national chain, I just try to avoid them. But, I had a gift card and there is one on every corner.

When I walked in the two young ladies working there were talking. They were very professional and stopped and took my order. “I’d like a medium coffee of the day with room for cream.” I said.

She rang up my order and said, “So you would like a Grande Guatemala Casi Cielo with room. Anything to eat?”

I glanced at the coffee cup sizes – yes, a medium was a Grande. I stared at the coffee of the day – yes, it was Guatemala Casi Cielo. And yes, I wanted room for cream. “No, that should do it.” I replied.

As she turned to get my coffee she resumed her conversation with the other lady working, “I really don’t know what his problem is. I’m a very simple person. . . . in a complex sort of way.”

I started to chuckle. This lady had found her true calling in life. She will be the President of the Starbucks corporation.

Only at Starbucks, you can get a ‘skinny cinnamon dolce frappuccino with a double shot, extra hot, no whipped cream, and sprinkles’. It’s simply coffee. . . in a complex sort of way.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Friday: Sunshine, blue skies, temperature 63 degrees. What a great day for bike ride. This was the first bike ride of year.

Saturday: Sunshine, blue skies, temperature 74 degrees. What a great day to play golf. First round of golf for the year.

Sunday: The picture says it all.

Sunday Funnies

An eye doctor, a heart surgeon and an HMO executive die and go to heaven.

God asks the eye doctor why he should be let into heaven, and the doctor explains to God that he helped people save or regain their sight. God says, ''Welcome to heaven, my son.''

God then asks the heart surgeon what he had done in life that should allow him into heaven. ''I saved people from death from heart attacks and heart disease,'' the doctor replies. ''Welcome to heaven, my son,'' God says.

God then turns to the HMO executive. God asked him what he was, and the man replied that he worked for an HMO. ''Welcome to heaven, my son,'' says God, ''but you have to leave in two days.''