Night Time Conversations

T’was the middle of the night and all through the house, not a creature was stirring. . .

. . . at least until there was an extremely loud siren sound followed by three equally loud beeps. Startled Char was sitting up in bed. I had hopped out of bed and was standing there rapidly looking from my left to right wondering what in the world was going on. There it was again a loud siren sound followed by three loud beeps. I was in my defensive mode, ready to protect Char and the house. My defensive mode was about all I was in, my clothes laid crumpled on the floor.

Then the siren started again followed by an equally loud voice in the house, “Vic? Vic? Are you there? Vic? Is everything alright?” That’s when I realized it was the life alert system. Vic, Char’s dad, was having health issues so he was staying with us. Since he was home alone much of the day Char had him sign up for life alert. I headed downstairs to answer the call, but the siren sound with the beeps went off again followed by, “Vic? Vic? Are you there?”

I got to the machine and realized I didn’t know what to do. So, I just started talking, “Hello? Hello?

The life alert lady came on the line in the same loud voice, “Vic are you alright? Your alarm went off. Do you need help?”

Realizing I didn’t know where the volume control was I told her Vic was asleep upstairs. That’s when the conversation took a twist you’re just not ready for at 2:30 in the morning.

“Who are you?”

“I’m his son in law.”

“Is he there?”

“I just told you he’s asleep upstairs.”

“Is he alright?”

“He’s asleep.”

“Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Can you check on him?”

Somewhere during the conversation, Char had come downstairs. She was talking with the life alert lady as I ran upstairs to check on Vic. Bursting into his room, there he was sleeping like a baby with the life alert button around his neck. I woke him and told him he had rolled over on the button and called the people at life alert.

He said he was sorry, removed the alert button, laid it on the nightstand then asked if he needed to call them. I told him we would take care of it.

I could overhear Char explaining what had happened. Then the following conversation ensued.

“Did you talk to him?” Yes.

“Was he coherent?” Yes.

“Did he appear to be okay?” Yes.

Then the life alert lady made the comment, “Okay, have a nice evening.” I remember thinking - Have a nice evening? Have a nice evening? It’s 2:30 in the morning!

Before leaving the room, I glanced back at Vic. He had rolled over and was heading back to sleep, but he did take the time to say, “You sure don’t sleep in much.”

Char and I climbed back into bed. I was wide-awake, my heart was racing, and my defensive mode was still on high alert. Char, well, she laid there giggling.

At least Vic was getting a good night sleep.

Sunday Funnies

(Here are couple of Sunday Funnies – thanks to Paul)

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. By the time he reached the pulpit the crowd was near tears from laugher.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was being the Ring Bear.”

***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** ***** *****

One Sunday morning a young child was acting up during the morning worship service. The parents were doing their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out.

Just before reaching the foyer, the little one called out loudly to the congregation, “Pray for me! Pray for me!”

Pest Alert

To the extent possible, I believe in the philosophy ‘live and let live”. However, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Wasps were building a hive in my storage shed. Normally that wouldn’t have been a big deal except it was directly above the lawn mower. At first, I would pull the mower out and a wasp or two would fly around – no worries. But, the hive kept getting bigger and the number of wasps kept increasing. Awhile back, I took the lawn mower out and it looked like a scene from the movie, ‘The Killer Bees’.

I went to the hardware store and bought some wasp and hornet spray. The store advertising said, “kills on contact” and it was on sale.

Returning home, I carefully opened the shed door so as not to disturb the killer wasps and got within a foot of the hive. I pushed the button on the top of the can and everything became a blur. Chemical was going everywhere. The shed was coated with chemical, the lawn mower was drenched, and I was soaked. Spinning around, I wiped off my glasses and looked at the can. There in big bold letters were the words, “Up to 27 feet Jet Spray”.

I turned back and watched as numerous wasps drop from the hive. The pile just kept getting taller as the body count increased. I don’t know if the chemical killed them on contact or if the pressure of the spray crushed their little bodies.

I’m glad I bought the non-staining formula.

After The Wedding

Okay, I’ll admit it. . . I’m still a little tired after the wedding. It was a lot of fun but an exhausting time. I hope to get caught up on my blog reading shortly.

You might be interested in a few more wedding pictures and the events after the wedding. If so . . . .

Following the wedding the reception was great. Both Desiree and Nathan deserve a lot of credit for putting the final touches on the this event as well.

Shannel and Desiree's Mother making some adjustments to the back of her dress.

Char adjusting the back of Desiree's dress. By now Desiree had to be wondering what is the problem with the back of this dress? It should be pointed out, once Nathan was dressed not one Groomsman adjusted anything.

Father Cliff and Father in Law Ralph in a deep discussion about religious matters - well, maybe not.

DILOR (Daughter In Law Of Ralph) decided it was time to dawn the John Deere attire.




Before you even ask. . .yes, alcohol was involved.

And what's a party without a little spontaneous karaoke?






Somewhere along the way line dancing started in the lobby.

I'm no longer a party animal, neither was my co-best man.

The party just kept moving - from the reception hall to the lobby and now to the deck.

The following day, back at our homestead Mr. and Mrs. opened their wedding gifts.

Father Cliff and Marilyn caught up the excitement.

The last three pictures summarizes the event.

Mr. and Mrs.

Standing in the receiving line people were telling me:

“This is the BEST wedding I have been to. Thanks!”

“What fun! How did you pull it off?”

“How fun! How did you get the idea?”

I kept telling them it was all Desiree and Nathan with the help of many people. As Father of the Groom, all I had to do was show up.

Then at some point during the receiving line I had an “IF” moment. IF . . . when Nathan was born, someone would have told me he would get married on a baseball field by a farmer from Nebraska – I would have laughed. But, that’s what happened and it was great, absolutely great.

Desiree (a.k.a. DILOR Daughter In Law Of Ralph) deserves a lot of credit. She was the brainchild as well as the slave labor behind the event. The detail she went to was amazing. Nathan (SOR – Son Of Ralph) played a key role too.

Okay, let’s replay a few events here.

Tony (a.k.a. Bubba) and I were co-best men. It was our responsibility to arrange the bachelor party. The motto for the party was, ‘If it can’t be done by a nine year old it isn’t going to happen’

We decide on a Bachelor golf outing. The day before the wedding, eight of us met at the golf course and played nine holes. Others who weren’t able to go golfing joined us at the clubhouse for lunch where we proceeded to tell “Nathan” stories. It was a lot of fun.

Later that afternoon rehearsal was held at the baseball field. It is a mini-Coors field. The bad news was a heavy thunderstorm had just gone through. A little standing water and mud was not going to stop the rehearsal. Nathan did get a little anxious when I asked him how many umbrellas could he get for $500

After rehearsal, we all enjoyed a taco bar dinner that Marilyn and her mother, Maddie, had prepared. They really went to a lot of effort preparing tacos, burritos, and taco salad with all the fixings. The bride to be was nervous - she knew within twenty-four hours I would be her Father in Law, yet she managed to eat a little.

The next day as people entered All Star Park for the wedding, they were given a program and a foam finger that had Nathan and Desiree’s name along with the wedding date. They then took a seat in the stands. Some good friends were playing music over the loud speakers and bottled water was handed out.

Down in the dug out the groomsmen were helping Nathan as last minute jitters kicked in. I’m just glad I wasn’t the one that had to kiss him in a few minutes.

As the ceremony started, Cliff, or as we call him Father Cliff, left the dug out and headed to home plate where the ceremony was to be performed. Cliff was wearing an umpire’s uniform. When he got to home plate, he stopped, took out a pocket broom, bent down, and swept it off. Judging by the applause and cheers, the crowd loved it.

In Colorado, couples can perform their own marriage ceremony and have whomever they want officiate the service. Nathan and Desiree asked Cliff. They could not have picked a better person to officiate.

The wedding party gathered around home plate and Bubba threw the first pitch to Father Cliff. Again, the crowd loved it. During the ceremony, the bride and groom were getting a little emotional and misty eyed. Cliff moved away from the microphone, staying just close enough for it to pick up his voice and said, “There’s no crying in baseball.” The crowd responded with laughter, clapping, and cheers.

The ceremony was done and the receiving line was formed. That’s where I heard the comments above along with how the tuxedo’s with Chuck Taylor All Star Converse shoes was classic. Another one of Desiree’s and Nathan’s ideas which people loved.

Then it was off to the Victorian House for the reception. The reception followed the baseball theme with popcorn, peanuts, corndogs, brats, hamburger, pizza, nachos, and various other types of ballpark food being served.





At the reception, the DJ introduced Mr. and Mrs. Campbell. You might notice the smile on those faces.

The smiles continued through dinner. . .

Through the first dance . . .

Through the cake cutting and the toast. . .

I’m sure the smiles will continue for a long, long time.

Best wishes Mr. and Mrs. Campbell.

Sunday Funnies

"Where is my Sunday paper?" the irate customer yelled into the phone when the newspaper office clerk answered.

"Ma'am?" the clerk replied, a bit confused.

"Where is my Sunday paper?" she repeated, even louder than the first time. "I only get one paper a week because it takes so long to read it! And it's not here! Can't you people do anything right!"

"Ma'am", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow - Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by, “Well, that explains why no one was at church today."

Sprucing Up

We have been busy sprucing up the old homestead for the upcoming wedding. Fortunately, we had help from many people.

The big event will be this Friday. People are starting to show up and there is a flurry of activity around wedding details I know nothing about (I’m okay with that, really I am).

I’m sure there will be several great posts following the wedding.

Sunday Funnies

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. While he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure. Just go straight down this street a couple blocks and turn right."

The man thanked the boy and then said, "I'm the new Pastor in town. I'd like you to come to church on Sunday and I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied, "Aw, come on. You don't even know how to get to the Post Office."

(Thanks to Paul)